Nacho History: Volume Two
NOTE: This is a section of Nacho History that will soon be added into the main page once the 2010-Early 2014 History is written. To prevent confusion, this has been put into a separate page for the time being.
The History of the Nacho Army of Club Penguin
Written by Fluffy 9404
My name is Fluffy 9404. I joined Club Penguin in the December of 2009.I stopped playing in 2012, but I came back in June of 2014. I remember walking into the Snow Forts one day and I saw someone chanting “ARMY OF CLUB PENGUIN.” I was fascinated at the idea of a Club Penguin Army. I followed the autotyper’s instructions and searched up “Army of Club Penguin.” I found the ACP site and signed up to join. I waited an entire week and I still wasn’t on the ranks. I decided to attempt to join the Rebel Penguin Federation, because the abbreviation “RPF” reminded me of “EPF.” I waited another week and I still wasn’t on the ranks. I was enraged at both of the armies for what I thought was rejection. I decided to join their rivals, the Nachos.
I was stoked to finally be in a Club Penguin Army. I ended up checking the Nacho Website once a week because I didn’t realize that I should check this daily. My first battle was a Practice Battle against the Dark Warriors on July 17th, 2014. Here’s a video from a DW leader’s point of view, so please excuse the “DW Victory” message at the end.
I ended up having to leave around 1:54 because I went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. If you couldn’t spot me, I looked like this.
Chapter One: Nachos vs Doritos War
All was well. I remember in late July of 2014, we went to war with the Doritos. It was obvious to all of the Nachos that they copied our trademark name & uniform, yet somehow they were enormous. Anyway, we were winning most of our battles. One of our leaders, Beeky128778 proposed that there would be one decisive battle that would determine the victor of the war, The Invasion of Summit. All of the DCP leaders agreed to this. One of my favorite leaders, Laoise decided that this would be a perfect time to announce her retirement and that the Invasion of Summit would be her final battle. One of the DCP leaders, Lord West declared that this would be his final battle as well. A website that I was unfamiliar with, Club Penguin Army Central (CPAC) were to judge this brawl.
Sadly, the Nachos lost this battle. It was a major put-down for this army. The two people that took Laoise’s place were Camperjohn64 and Vonchiefer, both whom I highly respect.
Chapter Two: Nachos vs Teutons War
Following the DCP war and the dreadful September drop, we declared war on the Teutons and Golds of CP in October alongside a new face to this community, the New Penguin Republic.
Well, it appears we are at war again, Nachos. So, in this war, our adversaries are the Golds and the Teutons. This will be a tough war, but do not fret Nachos! For we will rise from our depression, and kick some rear! Let this be a war for the ages, for we will have an ally! In this war, we will be with the New Penguin Republic, or the NPR. Can we win this war? Yes. Can we do so with flying colors? Yes. Will we come out on top? Yes. Will we lose? No. Prepare yourself Nachos, for we will go toe-to-toe with a worthy adversary. This may be a war of attrition of annihilation. But let this be a war to be remembered in Nacho History! Viva Los Nachos!
~Vonchiefer, Nacho Army Leader
I don’t remember much about this war, since it only lasted for about a week. The Golds and Teutons ended up surrendering 4 days after the initial declaration of war. I now felt apart of something that could take on anything. The New Penguin Republic ended up dying.
Nachos now that this “war” is over. We need to start aiming for higher things or… fish if you would like. But for us to have intense battles and fun wars like we used to have. WE NEED YOUR HELP. We need you all to recruit daily, go on the chat daily, attend events daily and check site daily. I understand a lot of you have school and sometimes have other things to do sometimes, I also have school. But if we don’t step up our game, we’re going to lose the things we’ve loved for so long. If you all can help us, help me, help Beeky, help Von. Then we can get back into our prime and move on to some really fun and bigger…things (fish).
~Camperjohn64, Nacho Army Leader
Chapter 3: Weazelkid Retires
I, Weazelkid, am officially stepping down from my position as leader in the Nacho Army. I’ll do my best to keep this short. I’ve been extremely inactive the past few weeks and even when I was here, I didn’t do a whole a lot to help the army. That’s unacceptable, especially from a leader. My peers in the Nacho ownership had already taken steps to remove me from my position, so I decided it was easiest for everyone if I willingly stepped down. Make no mistake, their actions are completely justified and I don’t blame them at all for wanting change. You guys need active leaders and owners right now and at this time I’m just not able to supply the time this army deserves from a leader. We had a hell of a summer, we established ourselves as the best tactical army there ever was and we rose up and defeated enemies when nobody else thought we could. I’m so proud to have played a part in what we accomplished.
~Weazelkid, Nacho Army Leader
[My thoughts to be added later]
Chapter Four: Shivertoe2 Becomes A Leader
I didn’t know it at the time, but towards the beginning of December of 2014, my friend Shivertoe2 became a Nacho dictator.
Upon my ascension, I request elevation to the rank of Dictator with the following provisions in order to stabilize the army:
1. To make alliances, declare war, and make treaties autonomously
2. To hire, fire, promote, and demote whoever I see fit (with the exception of owners)
3. To handle foreign policy in the way I see fit
4. To reorganize the army in a way I see fit
5. The right to revoke these powers is reserved in the hands of Camper and Von
~Shivertoe2, Holy Nachonnian Emperor
Everything seemed good for the Nachos at first, but Shiver soon revealed his true intentions in a private post. I was just a moderator, so I didn’t have access to the site. This was the Shiver Doctrine:
“My idea to fix this army:
1. 4-5 events a week. Under no circumstance besides wartime shall we have more than 1 event a day (excluding unscheduled AUS events)
2. No events on Monday, except for wartime or a tournament. The weekly event post should be out on Sunday morning. No further events may be scheduled during the week , except during wartime or a tournament.
3. MANDATORY multilogging policy for owners. Everyone else does it. The ends justify the means.”
~Shivertoe2, Holy Nachonnian Emperor
Luckily, some of our owners took a stand against this. Chrisi Blule, former Nacho Leader and 3ic had said:
I swear, do not fucking dare multilog. We can not fucking remove one of the aspects that sets us a part from all the other cuntish armies out there. Don’t succumb to their shit.
~Chrisi Blule, Nacho Army 3ic
This caused major cracks in the Nacho Ownership. Little to any Nacho’s knowledge, Chrisi Blule had teamed up with another 3ic named Darkman5 to contact Nacho Legend Puckley and launch something that none of us could have imagined, but I’ll talk about that later.
Chapter Five: The Age of Nachonnia
The Crusade against the Water Vikings, Ice Warriors, and Army of Club Penguin
Although Shiver was extremely sketchy, there’s no doubt that he was a fantastic leader. He had taken the ruins of the defeated Nacho Empire and transformed it into a new nation, the Holy Nachonnian Empire.
Around the same time that Nachonnia was being formed, our allies, the Water Vikings turned against us. They claimed that the Nachos were small and that they could easily colonize us. Our owners, who were disagreeing about Shiver’s policy, had come together to rid the army world of these pathetic excuses for human beings.
As of Sunday, December 13th, we are at war with the Water Vikings. For a time, we’ve remained on good terms, but through a combination of events that took place this week, including the attempted theft of our troops, our tolerance and our respect for them has been exhausted. Despite all of our attempts to maintain peace, they sent us their declaration of war. We could have cooperated with WV to ensure our mutual existence, but their arrogance blinded them from creating a rational compromise. They wanted war. They had the audacity to impose outrageous terms on us with the mindset that we’d willingly succumb to them, but once they’ve been completely drained of their territory; once their troops’ spirits have been shattered, maybe then their depraved owners will realize how hollow and frail they actually are.
With this current generation of WV owners, we never stood a chance at sustaining our friendship, so now we fight alone. And we will stand on their banner to do so.
~Beeky128778, Nacho Army Leader
In this war, we had an ally, the Striking Raiders. While they weren’t directly involved with this conflict, they offered us a land grant and we accepted.
We were victorious in this war. We were able to get a surrender within 2 weeks of fighting. We were also massive compared to our sizes in September-December. Whether or not this was recruiting or if it was because of The Shiver Doctrine, I don’t know. We were able to get a peace treaty with Water Vikings until May of 2015 (6 entire months).
The Nachonnian Empire didn’t waste any time. We moved onto our next target, the Ice Warriors.
The Holy Nachonnian Empire hereby declares a state of war between the Empire and the Ice Warriors.
They will be promptly invaded. They have resolved to oppose us as part of their Grand Alliance. We shall not bow to ACP’s alliance attacks once more. This could have been clean! They could have avoided conflict, buy stand in our path, blocking our future! Today, I proclaim to the Ice Warriors; the entire Nacho Army stands against you! They shall answer us! Every journey begins with a single step. This is the first step. We shall fight, and we shall struggle, and in the end, the future shall be ours! All hail Nachonnia!
~Shivertoe2, Holy Nachonnian Emperor
This war didn’t last long. We were able to get them to surrender after two battles. We invaded the server Zipline and their capital. They quickly begged us for a surrender.Once again, I’m not sure if we won this war with actual troops or multilogs, but only time can tell.
We logged onto Sub Zero for the first event in our Ice Warriors Vs Nachos war, and we started at about 10 troops, to maxing 22 at the end! It started off looking like a draw, but then it started to look pretty clear that they had less than us about half way through, and just before the event had officially ended, IW finally gave up and signed the Non-Aggression Pact with us, and now the war with the Ice Warriors is over!
~Green Dai, Nacho Army 3ic
Once again, the Nachos didn’t waste any time. The campaigns against the Water Vikings and Ice Warriors were just stepping stones for our main target, the Army of Club Penguin. We fought this war for one reason and one reason only: revenge.
People of the Empire! Hear my call!
It is your second-in-command, Chancellor Shiver li Nachonnia! I make a grand announcement to all our people and to the world onlooking! The time for vengeance has come! I beseech you, soldiers, to fight with all your hearts! This will be a war of annihilation and nothing less! We have struggled to rebuild after the Army of Club Penguin devastated us more than a year ago! Now we shall turn the tables! Hear me world! The rules of history are etched in stone; conquer or be conquered!
I hereby declare the beginning of a state of war between the government and people of the Holy Nachonnian Empire and the government of the Democratic Republic of the Army of Club Penguin! For an entire year, the community held it’s breath, waiting to see who would make the first move. As fortune will have it, we will make it.
The domination of the A.C.P. squeezed our People and Empire ruthlessly! The A.C.P.’s representatives closed their hearts to sympathy, to kindness! They took our land! Stripped us of everything! Stole our future! Stole our year! Made us bow to their power! No longer will we stand idly while these savages continue to thrive!
They have antagonized us for these seven years! We fought these people for our entire existence! It was not until we finally defeated them that the Nacho Empire was the world’s greatest power! The generation of today, it is the bearer of Nachonnia’s destiny; Nachonnia’s destruction or Nachonnia’s future! Oh, Ms. Purple Slime, you shall get to know my men of the Empire! The same ones you denied their future to!
They no longer have anyone to run to! No allies to call in! We have you in a corner! This time, we will do it the right way! Revise history the way it should be! You’re all ours; the Holy Nachonnian Empire shall reign supreme over the A.C.P. and inflict every double of bit of pain they wrought onto us! This entire year has been leading up to this final act of vengeance!
Ms. Purple Slime, the entire Empire stands against you! Our rebuilding since that Crimson Day has shown our dedication and unwavering commitment to progress! We shall fight, and we shall struggle, and in the end, the future shall be ours! All hail Nachonnia!
For better or worse, this will the beginning of the end.
~Shivertoe2, Holy Nachonnian Emperor
This war was the most planned out of the three. We had taken every precaution. We knew that ACP would try and use their AUSIA division to gain the upper hand, but we had created the Nacho Night Stalkers Division. (We would stay up all night and defend against ACP’s AUSIA invasions). The Nachos fought with determination, courage, and with a fighting spirit. The Nachos and ACP clashed many times during this war and we had equal sizes. This war came to a close with one decisive battle: The Nachonnian Breeze Campaign. We were able to take Breeze, but 3 well-known Nachos intervened. Puckley, Chrisi Blule, and Darkman didn’t want the Nachos to be in the stranglehold of Shiver anymore.
Chapter Six: The Coup D’etat of Shiver and Camper
Whenever The Shiver Doctrine was released, a massive schism in the ownership occurred. Half of our owners wanted to enforce it, and the other half wanted to get rid of it and everyone involved. The two people that led the fight against Shiver and Camper were Chrisi Blule and Darkman5. They were able to contact Nacho Legend Puckley and launched a Coup D’etat of the Nacho Leadership.
Camperjohn64 and Shivertoe2 have been removed from the Nacho leadership. They are most welcome to stay in the army, but they will no longer hold their ranks of leader. I was alerted to the imminent coup d’etat on Friday, I had already pondered the prospect of launching my own, and when the opportunity to fix this army arose, I took it. The Nachos are currently in a broken state, no matter what the statistics on CPAC may tell you. Under Camper and Shiver we were heading down a path of extreme jingoism, and while war is what this community is made for, involving ourselves in dangerous wars between armies that do not concern us is a hazardous practice. In terms of our ‘foreign policy’ our biggest worry was taking on wars in which there was very little chance of us winning; DW plan[ned] on attempting to destroy us as soon as they could because we were concerning ourselves with a ridiculous war between two armies which needs to simply remain isolated to said armies. Everyone needs to realise that LT and DW will fight to the bitter end, in a war that will only contain tedium for all involved. However, naturally there are individual reasons as to why both Camper and Shiver are being removed. Shiver’s highly inappropriate and quite frankly disgusting love of Nazism is not something that should ever be seen from a Nacho leader, whether it is a joke or not, I doubt anyone can tell, the fact that it remains omnipresent in his speech and actions on our Xat is sickening. I’m sure I do not need to post much proof of him doing this, you’ve all met him. But here’s an example in case you have not seen.
This is just one example of something that occurs frequently. This is something that could perhaps be overlooked, even if it completely goes against the core principles of the Nachos. But Shiver was about to do something that would completely tarnish the Nacho name.
Thankfully, multilogging has never occurred in the Nachos. This picture was taken yesterday, I have made sure that no one has multilogged at any events following. But the notion that one of our leaders would ruin our name like that is despicable. It is an admittance from that leader that they do not possess the capacity to lead or compete. And no Nacho should ever condone multilogging. As Nachos you can not allow someone who would consider these actions acceptable to lead the army. And this is not the first time that Shiver has suggested multilogging [Note: I am the one that used the strikethrough on point 3].
While no multilogging has ever occurred, the idea that a leader is willing to do it is nothing but scary. They can not be allowed to continue to lead. It’s fraudulent, it hurts the integrity of the army. Shiver had to be stopped before he tore the heart out of this army. Shiver has been fired from this army and has failed to learn his lesson many times. It’s a waste of your potential, Shiv.
Edit – This phrase was uttered as we reset the chat:
Camper has been removed largely due to his inappropriate actions and questionable ability to lead the Nachos as cohesive organisation. His inappropriate actions range from frequently posting porn on chat, just this day he posted Hentai porn [See Puckley for the proof], to allegedly keeping a photobucket account of pictures of girls from the Nachos. There are also many instances of abuse, which relates to his questionable ability to lead the Nachos- events have been a shambles. Please, no matter if you agree with our revolution or not, support it. Despite Shiver and Camper being more than welcome to stay in the Nachos, it would not surprise me if they launch their own rebellion. Please, if you wish for the Nachos to be the strongest they possibly can be support our revolution, there is little that Shiver and Camper can do to take their leader positions back. Anyone who does not support this is simply harming the Nachos as an army. The finer details of the changes we are making will come shortly, however, the very basics is that I and Darkman5 shall become leaders. There is talk of adding a 4th leader too. While I recognise that I have been inactive lately, I promise to increase my activity, and if I fail, I promise you that I will step down, you have my word. We seek to end the stagnation that has attached itself to the Nachos. With your support we will regain our status as the biggest army in Club Penguin.
~Chrisi Blule, Nacho Army Leader
With this Coup D’etat, it marked the end of the 1st Holy Nachonnian Empire. Although Chrisi and Darkman’s intentions were good, they were not able to act upon them.
Chapter Seven: The Dark Ages